Looking From My Prespective

I was reading things on the Internet and it was depressing me.  Depressing me because I look at the people writing these things and see them as successful at whatever they are doing while I feel like a failure at what I do.

I realize it was a matter of perspective.  That if anything I should use my own life to judge myself instead of someone else.  Where their challenges in my life that I overcame and made my life better.  I thought I would list some of them here.

Bathrooms:  For most people going to use a bathroom was no big deal.  But for me when I was younger it was a big deal.  So much so that I rather piss and shit myself and not take a bath than use them.  Over the course of my life I have worked through the fears that made me believe bathrooms and restrooms where dangerous places.  The fear is still there but it doesn’t keep me from using them anymore.

Interacting with People:   There was a time when I was shy and withdrawn.  That I didn’t want to interact with people.  People where scary and dangerous, and the less I had to do with people all the better.  But now I find that I like interacting with people.    Yes people can be dangerous, but I don’t see that as a reason not to interact with people.  Be wary at times, but I don’t let it stop me from interacting with people.

Marriage:  The idea of being intimate relationship with someone let alone be married to them seem like a recipe for disaster.  Especially after the disaster of my first marriage and the relationship I had before that.  But I have been married now almost twenty years and I am happy.

Having a Business:  My computer repair business was not something that I ever made a lot of money doing it.  But it was never about the money for me.  It was more about showing myself that I could interact with people, that I din’t need to be scared going into a stranger’s house when required.  That I could do something and people would pay me to do it.  So with that in mind, the business was very successful.

Moving to Another Country: One of things I like is the familiar and a routine.  So moving to another country to be with my partner was a big challenge.   A challenge that I meet as I became use to the culture, different ways of doing things and driving on the wrong side of the road.

I think I will stop there.   Compared to other people these things may seem not anything to get excited or be seen as something that should be considered a success.  But to me they are a success because I meet the challenges and worked through them.  Sometimes I failed miserably along the way, but eventually I found a way to meet the challenge.